Mani looked at Cadence with stars in his eyes, cooing praises as she ate some mashed potatoes Sun had so graciously whipped up for them before they left, Cadence currently curled in his lap as they sat on Sun and Moon's couch.
Mun was sitting on the other side of the couch, as far from the human as possible. He had come along to supervise his brother and make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Like bringing the human home and hiding it until it was too late.
Mani was content to cuddle and snuggle the human, both Sun and Moon gone for the day to do some monthly shopping.
Cadence was content to be adored and lavished with attention, the affection helping lift her spirits and temporarily beating the shit out of the depressive episode she was powering through.
"I just need to convince my brother not to hate humans so much, and maybe I can get one for myself," Mani was whispering to Cadence, giggling softly, "Maybe even co-parent you alongside Sun and Moon. You're just so precious!"
Mani nuzzles Cadence's head aggressively with his own as Mun slowly turns a death glare at the blue brother.
"I can hear you!" Mun growled, "You are not getting a human! Get something hypoallergenic!"
Mani rolled his eyes as he replied, "Humans are hypoallergenic! They barely even shed! And no one has ever been allergic to humans."
"They stink!" Mun replied, "And they are so messy. Humans are social creatures; they destroy things if you leave them alone for too long."
"Not if they are well-behaved," Mani replied, this sounding like a long-standing argument, "Look at Cadence. She's so docile and well-behaved."
"And mentally ill," Mun replied, narrowing his eyes and looking at Cadence with disgust, "I can smell it from here. Look at her eyes, no sane human can look so relaxed and alert at the same time."
"I'm not some wild beast, I won't make a mess just because I've been left alone," Cadence replied with a frown.
"Mentally ill THIS!" Mani exclaimed, hooking his hands under her shoulders and shoving her towards Mun, Cadence yelping and Mun shrieking as Mani dumped Cadence on him.
"GET IT OFF!" Mun exclaimed, recoiling away, "It's dirty!"
"I am not an it!" She growled, Mani holding her down, "And I'm not dirty! I showered like, 3 hours ago!"
"Dirty, filthy!" Mun admonished, lightly picking her up under her armpits and standing with her dangling in his grip, "You humans produce oils and flakes, I am not touching something so disgusting and weird."
"Why are you touching me right now?" She asked, quirking a brow as he walked into the bathroom.
"I'm touching your shirt," he replied, setting her in the shower and turning on the water, causing her to yelp loudly as the lukewarm water doused her.
"What the fuck?!" She exclaimed, trying to jump out of the shower, but he put a hand on her chest and lightly pushed her back.
"Mani, come clean the human!" Mun shouted, Mani making his appearance not even a moment later, walking over happily.
"Don't mind my brother, he just doesn't like humans!" He cooed, squeezing some soap onto a hand and starting to gently wash Cadence's hair, causing her to squawk in surprise. "He never liked them; thinks they're animals with too much brains."
"Because they are," Mun butted in, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway, "I heard humans are descended from prey animals. They shouldn't try to act like they're predators, unlike us."
Cadence frowned, relaxing as Mani gently scrubbed her scalp, and she closed her eyes with a sigh.
"Well, they are intelligent animals," Mani replied, "Very very smart, and they can be quite well-behaved if their needs are met. When a human is happy and content with life, they are very good." Mani then gently petted Cadence's head as he cooed, "And you are such a good human! Being so well-behaved as I wash you! You'll be so clean when I'm done!"
Mani picked up a black ball resembling a loofah. Cadence narrowed her eyes at it in suspicion.
"What's that?" She asked curiously.
"For cleaning!" Mani replied happily, "I know this belongs to our counterparts, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind."
He reached out and scrubbed her arm, but it only took one pass before she yowled loudly and flinched away, her skin scraped and slightly bleeding the tiniest bit in some places.
Both jesters froze, eyes widening.
"Feels like a rock!" She hissed, gently rinsing off her arm and the rest of the soap, "Fuck, do you jesters really scrub yourselves with that?"
"Oh wow, humans are even weaker than I thought," Mun remarked smugly, "Can't even handle a little scrub? Your skin is as delicate as paper."
"That's a literal rock," Cadence replied, annoyed.
"It's for exfoliation and getting all space dust and any parasites off," Mani remarked, looking worried, "I forgot we have thick skin compared to humans."
He reached for Cadence's arm, but pulled back when her eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you," he murmured regretfully.
Mun scoffed, rolling his eyes as he stepped forward and picked Cadence up by the armpits, setting her on top of what looked like it could be a laundry basket, an onyx black with a bright yellow pillow on the bottom. Mun looked at her scrape, clicking his tongue as Cadence growled at him.
"This is why you can't have a human," Mun remarked to Mani, "Because you could unintentionally hurt them."
Mani looked betrayed, as if Mun shot his dog and told him to bury it. "What?! How was I supposed to know humans can't bathe like we do?!" Mani exclaimed, his white pupils blowing out and nearly taking up all of his eyeballs as he looked pleadingly at Mun.
"How about you stop watching so many funny human videos and start reading about them?" Mun replied, gently washing off Cadence's arm in the sink, careful not to hurt her further. "Now you'll have to admit to being a bad petsitter and tell Sun and Moon you hurt their human," Mun added, "And they probably won't ever let you watch their human again."
Mani gasped loudly, looking heartbroken as he rushed over and kneeled on Cadence's other side.
"I'm so so so so so sorry!" He wailed, clasping together his hands pleadingly, "I didn't mean to hurt you! Please forgive me! Don't tell Sun and Moon!"
Cadence stared at him, slightly uncomfortable with the apology. She was used to being the one apologizing, not the other way around.
"Uhhh..." she replied slowly, "Sure-?"
She didn't get to say much because the next moment she found herself scooped into Mani's arms, the worried jester wrapping way too much gauze around her injured arm. Which was a total overreaction.
Mun sighed irritably, rolling his eyes as Mani swaddled her in a fluffy towel before going and sitting back on the couch, cuddling her apologetically and giving her more mashed potatoes.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, with Mun and Mani leaving late in the evening when Sun and Moon came back.
Moon wasn't happy about all the water in the bathroom though.